Tips to Respond to Diet Talk

Holidays are often a time to catch up with loved ones and reflect on what we’re thankful for over the past year. At times, conversations may find themselves centered around topics like food beliefs, changes in appearances since the last holiday gathering, and advice on eating habits. This can make the navigation around contemplating your next response incredibly challenging, especially when potentially experiencing frustration, shame, invalidation, etc. For challenges like these during this season, make a note of a few responses that can be helpful in setting boundaries with both yourself and others during your next holiday gathering. 

We came up with some options for different situations you may encounter…

When you want to redirect the conversation…

• “I’d rather not talk about this topic right now. I’d love to hear about how ___ (your new job, vacation, kids, etc.) is going.”

• “I have really been working on having a more positive relationship with food and my body lately. It would be helpful if we could talk about something else.”

When you listen to your body and feel full and satisfied…

• “I feel pretty full and satisfied. I’m going to wrap up the rest and maybe have some more later since it was so yummy!”

• “This dish you brought is so delicious! I’m actually feeling full, but I will definitely save some leftovers to enjoy tomorrow!”

When catching up after a while…

• “I’m so happy we get to catch up after so long, but I’m sure there are much more interesting things we can chat about other than how my body or appearance may have changed.”

• “That’s actually the least interesting thing about me. But did you know I can/know how to/have been ___.”

• “I have actually stopped trying out diets. I am trying to practice eating more intuitively and listening to what my body wants and needs. I find this helps me feel much less anxious and allows me to be present here with you, rather than stuck in my head obsessing over food.”

• “It is great seeing you! I have been meaning to say hi to ___, if you could excuse me.”

When sharing what you’ve learned on your journey to a more positive relationship with food…

• “I have found that listening to my body and not restricting myself at all has been really great for me. Choosing to get seconds of this dish is how I’m practicing that.”

• “Our bodies do not view foods as good or bad but simply just as food. We don’t need to earn food or make up for it.”

• “Actually, I don’t count calories and I find that listening to my body more intuitively feels better for me.”

When you don’t feel ready or in a place for any of the above responses…

• “Thank you.”

• “Okay.”

• **Remove yourself from the situation**

If you don’t feel that you are in a space to redirect the conversation or explain your situation, practice replying with a general response, remembering that the most important thing to do is to continue your own journey, regardless of what others may think or say (even though it can be really, really tough).

When choosing certain responses or tools that may be helpful for you, keep in mind the boundaries that you would like to keep for both yourself and with others. For some, standing up for yourself and educating others to debunk parts of diet culture can be liberating and helpful. At the end of the day, all that we can do is take small steps each day to work towards a more positive and healthy relationship with how we treat our minds and bodies. It is never your responsibility to provide education or explain your situation to others. That is for you, and you only, to decide.